What are you carrying around?

Regret Nothing, but Hope for Everything

It seems as life moves vastly forward spinning out of control getting lost and not knowing the way home we some how continue to pickup just one more thing, one more piece of luggage as we recklessly stumble towards what we hope to call greatness or contentment. The irony though is God didn't call us to live a life of contentment or greatness. He simply asked us to live a simple life loving him, not asking us to take the perfect step into the finish line. So as you sit and reevaluate your life and the baggage you carry, reveal the truth of baggage, toxic relationships, personal flaws, and all areas that reek havoc on ones soul without pointing screaming fingers of "YOU CAUSED IT," but learning how to graciously forgive.
One of the hardest things in life is learning how to obtain and maintain humility. Recognizing we are all torn, broken, flawed, and scared with hurt. The hurts of others are inflicted upon us daily, because those who are hurting, hurt people. It is a vicious cycle that can only be stopped with grace, humility, and forgiveness. Ephesians 4:31-32 tells us to "Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind on to another, tenderhearted, FORGIVING one another, even as Christ forgave you."  So at some point you have to step up and make the choice to stop making excuses for yours and others actions and just humble yourself to the fact that we are all broken and filled with scars that tell a beautiful story of forgiving and overcoming. As you sit and ask yourself what do you need to stop holding onto remember one thing, there is always a season in life and you are not always meant to continue to water the seed in someone else's world. God has someone else to walk along side you, just as he has someone else to walk along those who continue to hurt.
Stop holding a grudge and start imitating Christ by forgiving others, just as he forgave and continues to forgive over and over and over again. Choose to live by faith and not by judgement.

Where my feet may fail me

The days of solitude cease to exist as we are confronted and conformed to a vastly technological society. An email here, a text there, a social media post on this, that, and the other continue to consume our world. It as if we practically lack the ability to even look up from the screen to acknowledge the life that is sitting right before us. The irony to all of this is that "the best moments of our lives are not the passive receptive, relaxing times," but the fully engaged, one hundred percent taxing of all self energy. Just when we reach the empty tank, society pushes us to run off of the fumes until we fall victim to the burnout point. Timothy Kanold states, "But those moments cannot be sustained without intentional disengagement to avoid" such points. Then where do we go and how does one get to the peaceful disengagement when your feet fail to be placed one in front of another?
II Timothy 2:22,23 tells us to "flee also youthful lusts, but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. But avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife." He continues further to say that we must not fight among one another, but to be gentle extending mercy and grace with patience and humility. In order to live a balanced life filled with disengagement and full of energy we must be willing to pursue both an internal and external balance that leaves no excuse for mediocrity. Accepting the truth that it is okay to say NO, and "adjust other commitments and life goals as new passions and pursuits take root." 
Life is to fragile to fall into conformity, but rather into the pursuit of humility, righteousness, and happiness. "The world will not devote itself to making you happy. If you wait for outside circumstances to change, you fall prey to the plague of if onlys (T. Kanold)." When the waves crash before us and the waters become dangerously to deep, we mustn't rest at that moment, but fight until the storm has calmed. Living by faith that the time for rest will come when you feel as though your external limbs have failed you in all aspects of life. Keep heart and hold onto the truth that the spirit will lead you to the end of the borders and in the places you have yet to wander because you were called here for a purpose, to take notice, look up from the screen and not to live in mediocrity and conformity. 

Perfectly Flawed and Flawlessly Imperfect

As the days continue to spin vastly out of control, the overwhelming acknowledgement of comparison to others has increased dramatically over the past couple of years. A pursuit to be perfect in a crimson stained world has brought on unattainable expectations and struggles.
This past week I wiped the tears out of a young girls eyes as her innocence sat in my lap crying over the inability to see her beauty and positive impact she has on others. As I held her so close, my heart hurt, because I could sympathize with her. I too was just as guilty of those painful tears falling on my bathroom floor and struggles of wanting growth, and desires/prayers to be answered this week. The society we live in and the every day reality consume our thoughts with an urge to be perfect, to appear as if nothing is wrong, to cover up any emotion or flaws, and to always "fake it 'Til you make it." Though I am an advocate for hard work and dedication, I am also one for allowing the natural talent or beauty of something to be seen and recognized.
For years I had dated an individual who expected me to appear and act a certain way. To put on a face and wear it well. After years of singleness, I decided to date again...I found that men had comparison insecurities just as much as women do. 
We are merely human, with our own imperfections and flaws. The difference in people is merely what will you choose to make of those flaws. Will you allow the reminder from the scars to be a crippling excuse to lack value and success, or will you allow the reminders from those scars to be the encouragement and testimony of true worth, success, and God's love and grace? Ultimately the decision is yours. No matter what you choose, the truth is you were created with purpose and worth in a society that one must encounter both good and evil. Each and every one of us is Perfectly Flawed, and Flawlessly Imperfect in this great big world. 
So hold on to your dignity and humility. Stand tall with confidence, that you are somebody who holds goodness in the palm of your hand, and take a step of faith towards greatness.

Regret Nothing, Hope for Everything

Regret nothing, but hope for everything

As those words continue to flow through my mind consistently, I am left with the acknowledgment of hope only. At some point you have to recognize that we are all human, broken, torn, bruised, scarred, and flawed. We are all given the opportunity to change those bruises and scars into moments of beauty with the slightest hope of holding onto a heart that is so big. So when the road seems twisted, turned, narrow, or even at a dead end, remember that there is always another route. Always remember that you are stronger than you will ever give yourself credit for, because you my friend are your biggest critic. It is only human nature to question yourself in some areas of life, but hold onto your morals, values, beliefs, and hope. If you lose sight of any one of those grab hold to an angel and let them lead you into the light. You are wanted, you are loved because you have so much more than you can see and such a big heart that even God knows the in between opportunities only lead to greatness.  I never had a chance to say this when you were with me friend, I thought I would have one more. Thank you for always leading me down a path of greatness, confidently knowing to REGRET NOTHING, BUT HOPE FOR EVERYTHING. 

To always be loved, and never forgotten

Today would be my oldest brothers 25th Birthday. It is a day of celebration, and worldly sadness that we can not be celebrating this milestone with him. Death is an inevitable vicious monster that steals our beloved and leaves us lost and alone in this great big world with expectations to still uphold with a smile. The minute, days, months, and sooner than later years go by, everyone returns to their "normal" routine and life for them continues on as if nothing has changed. The outsider forgets that whatever was/is considered the norm for you will never again be "normal." A piece of you was buried on that day and will forever remain like a heart as an empty room. So hold onto to the ones you love, fight for them even at a distance, and never forget the moments together through good and the bad because there may come a day when the moments don't pass you by but merely stop. The only thing in this life that is certain is that time doesn't stop and change is inevitable with or without you dancing happily on the merry-go-round or crying the saddest tears of your life. With that being said don't miss the opportunity to tell someone you have always and will always love them and have never forgotten them. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUBBA C!   

To love sacrificial or superficial?

The pain, the tears, and the hurt stream down ones face as the reality of abandonment sets in. It's hard to fathom a world where you merely become just another face in the crowd to an audience that you once knew and were a reflection in their eyes. A world where people did not stand by your side for years and then vanish or leave you within seconds.
Though there is no comparison to Christ's death, there is empathy. As he hung "lifeless" on the cross the crowd that once followed him and adored him began to dissipate one after another until there were none left. Not once did he stop loving them even in his earthly abandonment. His mercy and grace is astonishing and yet beyond imagination. The awestricken realization that God sacrificed his son for the forgiveness of our sins will forever be engrained in ones mind. I am a perfectly flawed, imperfectly flawless individual who honestly deserves nothing and yet he is jealous for me and still wants me, unlike the individuals who said they would always love me and care about me, but didn't want me anymore and walked away. The same grace is extended to you as well.
In the sixth chapter of Luke we are called to love our enemies and hold no judgment. As 3:20am reclaims my consciousness daily. I am reminded to be graceful, not graceless and merciful, not merciless. Why? Because he loves me through all  the trials and triumphs, the afflictions, and pain. So I am quickly reminded I have no right to hold onto hurt, to judge, and I don't have time to maintain regrets because he was willing to give his life for all my unrighteous actions.
The Lord exemplifies a sacrificial love for you and I, unlike the superficial love experienced in our daily encounters and relationships. There is a difference in sacrificial love and superficial love. I am well aware many of us struggle with the concept of truly understanding or relating to a sacrificial love. It is a love that is shown through actions, not words. It is an experience that can never be compared or repaid. It is the individual who walks along side you through the transformation process, not behind you, not in front of you, and not completely away from you. Sacrificial love is not an idea of warm happy emotions, but a true intimate relationship that is loyal and encouraging even when the odds are against it.
I am hesitant to say that a plethora of people have experienced this in their lifetime with the amount of brokenness encountered in society today. We are a self indulged society that focuses on ourselves more than on the gift of truly serving others, yet Christ made the ultimate sacrifice and died for us. So as the reality of abandonment sets in, a peace overtakes ones soul to becoming perfectly content with being just another face to the average audience, but a beautiful bride to the one who loved.