Never Alone

After almost ten years it never gets any easier. As time continues moving forward and holidays come and go I find myself identifying with the christmas character Scrooge. "taken but yet alone" is what best sums it up. The internal war attempts to consume my thoughts as I fight off the ideas of "what's wrong with me?" "why am I spending another holiday alone?" "I am sure I wouldn't have fun anyways". The bottom line is, there is nothing wrong with me, I AM NEVER ALONE, and I can have fun no matter where I am at or who I am with. The Lord has never left me or forsaken me. Instead of wasting time on worldly emotional hurts of feeling alone, one must focus on their true purpose and who has never left them ever. I can't promise the feelings or thoughts will cease, but ones character and self esteem strengthen in order to fight without fear of losing. Matt Redman clearly defines the comfort we must find to undoubtedly know we are truly never alone. "Standing on this mountain top Looking just how far we've come Knowing that for every step You were with us Kneeling on this battle ground Seeing just how much You've done Knowing every victory Is Your power in us Scars and struggles on the way But with joy our hearts can say Yes, our hearts can say Never once did we ever walk alone Never once did You leave us on our own You are faithful, God, You are faithful Never once did we ever walk alone Never once did You leave us on our own You are faithful, God, You are faithful You are faithful, God, You are faithful Scars and struggles on the way But with joy our hearts can say Never once did we ever walk alone Carried by Your constant grace Held within Your perfect peace Never once, no, we never walk alone Never once did we ever walk alone Never once did You leave us on our own You are faithful, God, You are faithful Every step we are breathing in Your grace Evermore we'll be breathing out Your praise You are faithful, God, You are faithful You are faithful, God, You are faithful" In return we must be still and know in our hearts that he is faithful so in return we must also believe and be faithful.

What do you look to?

"So many times we look to the gifts instead of the Giver to fill us and fulfill us with lasting security and significance." Renee Swope-A Confident Heart As I sit here reviewing the events of the past few days and weeks I am left in awe of the mass majority of individuals including myself whom seek self-worth and significance. Our culture has trained us as women to be independent and successful without relying on a soul. The downfall and flaw to this reality is that we still feel empty at the end of the day. As women we desire a sense of significance and value approval through our accomplishments. Once one success has faded with the seasons we slip right back into the self worthless empty place that we have filled with materialistic items and affairs. Being a secondary teacher I am becoming more and more aware of the struggle for acceptance and existance within a younger generation. I have spent a few days in the classroom observing self-esteem and self worth among both young men and women on a day to day basis. I was blessed with an eye opening opportunity to experience outside of the classroom a few nights ago too and was caught off guard how quickly someones self righteousness, selfishness, and self humility can affect so many around you. God did not call us to be self righteous individuals, but to be servants diligently serving one another and seeking him. His love is unfailing and unconditional with no strings attached, no harsh words to send your self esteem six feet under, no shallow comments made about you, no judgemental dagers shot in your direction, no discussions of you behind your back, and no letting go of you ever. He never leaves or forsakes you, his love never fails even when you do, but he is a God of love and of grace. So in the moment when all the hurtful glares, words, texts, eyes rolling, or actions continue to hold your head high with dignity, humility, and Christ like love never letting your self worth and significance slip away. Do not compare your success to your past, do not compare your success to your present, but remember to be thankful for the blessings and opportunities the Giver has given you. Be thankful instead of always hungering for more measurable materialistic items and the "what ifs" or "what are you going to do for me" or the "what are you getting me" situations. Allow yourself to be saved and satisfied by setting your prideful self-righteous attitude aside and giving God the satisfaction of pouring himself into you and your life style. Look to the Giver for fulfillment, self-worth, and significance instead of the gifts of this world. "There's a girl in the corner with tears stains on her eyes from the places she's wandered and the shame she cant hide. She says how did I get here? I'm not who I once was and I'm crippled by the fear that I have fallen to far to love....You are more the choices that you've made, you are more than the sum of your past mistakes, you are more than the problems you create, YOU'VE BEEN REMADE." Tenth Avenue North